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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Memories can be strange




Since his passing on Monday, I haven't really had many thoughts of my life growing up with him. I mostly remembered the recent past.  There is a good reason for that.



The above picture was how our relationship was when I was a child------
 He was daddy,  I was his pumpkin
 but then I became a teen...ummm, yea!



I was amazed when a kitchen table brought a memory from my teen years.  A not so pleasant one. 


 My brother owns the table and chair set that we had growing up.  
Today I was setting up my sewing machine at my brother's house on this kitchen table.  As I threw back the table cloth I was assaulted with a memory of a time around that table. 


It was when I was a rebellious teen. (yea, I know hard to believe that I was ever rebellious) My younger brother was teasing me about something during the meal.  I was NOT happy and turned to him and called him a nasty name...a word that was NOT allowed in our house.  My dad reached across the table slapped me in the face.  OUCH! 


Yea, at the time I was insulted and angry that he would do such a thing. He never ever hit me.   Now, as a mom, I get it.  I'm not saying that what he did was right, not at all, BUT I did deserve some form of discipline.  Let's just say that as a teen, I did not like my dad one. little. bit.


Thankfully as I became an adult my attitude changed.  He became my daddy again.   And now my daddy is gone.  No  more phone conversations, no more hugs, no more cribbage, no more Father's Day cards, no more daddy....and THAT makes me sad :(


2 comments:

  1. He will always be with you in spirit. I know how hard it is... I have been there, and am going through it now with my husband... But, try not to feel bad about the past. it is natural to feel quilty about something, but when my dad passed away, my mom told me something very important "You feel bad about this or that now, because daddy is no longer here, but if he was still here would you still feel bad / did you feel bad before." Of course my answer was no. Hang in there.

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  2. My grandmother passed away and that alone has been hard on my family. Best wishes for you.

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