For weeks I've been wondering, where will I be? What will be my reaction? How will I do this?
Well, the wondering and waiting ended today, Monday, November 21, 2011 at 2:30 a.m. when I received that final call.......
I was awakened from an already fitful sleep with the shrill of the phone. My first thought was of my son who is away (no matter what is going on, I'm always a mother first!), but then I KNEW.
Quickly I grabbed the phone.... "Hello?"
There is a pause, then I hear my mother's tired, quiet voice, "Dad is in heaven", she says.
I sigh....I don't remember what I said. Then I hear myself say, "How are you?"
"Surprisingly ok", she answers.
"Relieved?" I ask
As she begins to answer, her voice breaks....I interrupt to tell her we don't have to talk about this now...I love you! My heart breaks, I know this is NOT a conversation for over the phone. She says she will call me later. We hang up.
My very first thought is "It's NOT supposed to be this way....We should be together!" But it IS supposed to be this way because it IS this way.
I am then bombarded with thoughts of fear and doubt and pure pain. One lie after another assaults my mind. But I'm reminded of Jesus' example when Satan tried to get Him to believe the lies. He replied with "IT IS WRITTEN". And when He was facing something He thought He couldn't do, He went to His heavenly Father!
Thankfully, I remembered this example and began to speak TRUTH! How do I know it is truth? Because this SAME truth promises it will set me free! And THAT is exactly what happened....God's truth set me free from the lies of Satan...not only this sad morning, but for eternity. So when these same lies come back to take over, I will once again choose to listen to the "voice of truth".
So now what? Where do I go from here? I remember ;)......
At the airport that old, frail, dying man looking like a little boy with a grin so wide, clapping his hands excitedly knowing he was going back to the place he calls home. His last stop here are earth before his final journey to his eternal home.
I reach down to hug him and whisper in his ear our parting words of late: "here, there or in the air!" In my heart knowing our next meeting will be there. I pull away and look into his smiling face as he says, "I'll see you next summer". Laughing I point my finger and shake it at him answering, "I'm gonna hold you to that!"
Well, dad, now I know for sure the only way I'm gonna see you next summer is if I am there where you are! And, I'm sorry daddy, but I think you'll understand...
Well, the wondering and waiting ended today, Monday, November 21, 2011 at 2:30 a.m. when I received that final call.......
I was awakened from an already fitful sleep with the shrill of the phone. My first thought was of my son who is away (no matter what is going on, I'm always a mother first!), but then I KNEW.
Quickly I grabbed the phone.... "Hello?"
There is a pause, then I hear my mother's tired, quiet voice, "Dad is in heaven", she says.
I sigh....I don't remember what I said. Then I hear myself say, "How are you?"
"Surprisingly ok", she answers.
"Relieved?" I ask
As she begins to answer, her voice breaks....I interrupt to tell her we don't have to talk about this now...I love you! My heart breaks, I know this is NOT a conversation for over the phone. She says she will call me later. We hang up.
My very first thought is "It's NOT supposed to be this way....We should be together!" But it IS supposed to be this way because it IS this way.
I am then bombarded with thoughts of fear and doubt and pure pain. One lie after another assaults my mind. But I'm reminded of Jesus' example when Satan tried to get Him to believe the lies. He replied with "IT IS WRITTEN". And when He was facing something He thought He couldn't do, He went to His heavenly Father!
Thankfully, I remembered this example and began to speak TRUTH! How do I know it is truth? Because this SAME truth promises it will set me free! And THAT is exactly what happened....God's truth set me free from the lies of Satan...not only this sad morning, but for eternity. So when these same lies come back to take over, I will once again choose to listen to the "voice of truth".
So now what? Where do I go from here? I remember ;)......
At the airport that old, frail, dying man looking like a little boy with a grin so wide, clapping his hands excitedly knowing he was going back to the place he calls home. His last stop here are earth before his final journey to his eternal home.
I reach down to hug him and whisper in his ear our parting words of late: "here, there or in the air!" In my heart knowing our next meeting will be there. I pull away and look into his smiling face as he says, "I'll see you next summer". Laughing I point my finger and shake it at him answering, "I'm gonna hold you to that!"
Well, dad, now I know for sure the only way I'm gonna see you next summer is if I am there where you are! And, I'm sorry daddy, but I think you'll understand...
You won't be the first one I look for.
Nope
I will run to the ONE who has made it possible to even be in that glorious place. The ONE that you are experiencing being with right now!
OUR SAVIOR
JESUS
So, for now dad, while you are basking in His glory....I'll stay here and 'only imagine'.
CONGRATULATIONS DAD
You've answered your
final call
final call
See you THERE
Cindy, {hug}
ReplyDeleteYou're post made me celebrate the relationship you had with your father and with our Father!
I didn't get to see much of my father here, but as far as I know, I won't get to see my father over there. Thankfully, I'm with you on looking for my FATHER when I get there!
Thanks for sharing your dad with me, and praying for you all.
So sorry for your loss. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteCindy, I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful post, and picture of your father.... I know how hard it is to lose your dad. My dad passed away 23 years ago, and Marc's dad passed away last week. Remember that while he may not be here on earth with you now, he will always be with you in spirit.
ReplyDeleteReading this post with tears in my eyes. So sorry for your loss. I've gotten a few 3am phone calls too. Never fun, but bearable knowing we'll see them again.
ReplyDelete